I had a dream last night … I was in a shopping mall with my partner and some girls came up to me, they were asking me about an expensive handbag in Debenhams and asked me whether I would buy it and how much I would pay etc, I said I would never pay £111, I usually spend a lot less and I I’m not bothered by designer clothes etc and they seemed suprised, I said how much I would normally pay and they were just so shocked, they had looked at my clothes and thought I wore expensive clothes when they were all cheap! .. I felt good though, because I obviously chose a look that looked valuable and expensive but wasn’t and I didn’t need to spend that much to look good 🙂 they went off probably with a different perspective and my confidence was boosted :)…
I share this dream because I guess I’ve always tried to live like this, since I was little my mum would buy clothes from the market or charity shops and they would always look really nice, I got one thing from Tammy girl once (which was a popular high street shop at the time) as a treat and my friend made a comment about how I always wear such lovely clothes and it’s not fair and she seemed a bit jealous, I told her the truth and said most of my clothes are from charity shops, I didn’t want her to think I was better than her and that we were just as “poor” …being humble I guess, and I remember being annoyed that she felt that way towards me..
There was a little sense in me that I didn’t want to look poor or rough like a lot of people around that way, my road was the nicer “posher” road to me and just around the corner was more run down and rough.
I tried not to associate with the people who were really rough but only because I was a little worried about them or them not being nice to me, one or two of my friends didn’t have as many nice things but I still opened my heart to them and played with them and often I was jealous of their parents being together or really nice, or if I did have a friend with what seemed like “more” I would be jealous I guess.
But yeah there was always this part of me that felt like I didn’t want to be poor or look poor, like it was embarrassing or something to be ashamed about.
In the dream I felt good though, because I chose clothes well and I was honest about it, I talked to people about not having much money or not being into designer gear and I felt confident in that, at first I worried that they would look down on me or judge me but they listened and seemed to open their minds. I felt I didn’t need to buy expensive things to feel valuable and to look good, I just needed to be ok with where I was at and make the most of it.
So I ask myself now…
What could I do to make the most of what I currently have?
How could I make my life seem more valuable?
And maybe you could ask yourself the same! ..
Does any of this resonate for you? What is your relationship with money or self-value?
Feel free to share your thoughts below .. better out than in 😉